First, check out this quick poll I posted. I want to know if you think I should post my weight on my site to aid in the loss of some of it….
I am not sure why this came to mind today, I guess God was tired of watching me spin my wheels in the mud pit of weight loss.
I am not in “horrible” shape, I did jog the entire 10K without walking and managed to get a reasonably respectable time, but I am far from “in-shape”. In fact, I am pretty sure that this has been the case since I was in the single digit grade school years. I have had a few “banner” moments through the years. I was actually VERY close to my goal weight for part of a year, some years ago, and I also managed to lose 25 pounds right before our wedding last September, but in both cases, the weight came screaming back.
In an attempt to “put myself out there” I will say that being unhappy with your own body is a quick and easy way to kill your self esteem. It’s also the root of many uncomfortable moments. Moments “skinny” people not only don’t notice, but in some cases even enjoy. It’s also a tough wall to get over when trying to make new friends because even though potential pals may never think it, you are always thinking about it, so it HAS to be bringing a negative impact to the situation.
Bottom line is this. Even though I am no candidate for the Biggest Loser, I feel like I could be. Even though I don’t have to shop at the big and tall, I feel like I should be. Even though I am a “worthy” human being, I feel like I should be passed up and picked last. Being overweight is not a simple physical “situation”. It’s a mental mind screw that runs and often ruins peoples experience of life.
(Man that was hard to write)
On Jan. 1 of 2006 I quit smoking. Oddly enough, it had nothing to do with New Years Resolutions, I just felt so nasty and sick after smoking that day that I decided to give it up. I have not gone back to it since, nor will I ever. Something was different that time. It was like my heart decided instead of my head. AND IT STUCK!
So what’s going to change my heart? What’s going to break me enough to quit thinking about it and to allow my heart make the decision?
I’m not placing any bets, but I am changing the game. The most common thing people do with something they are ashamed of is hide it. Why do you think all of my profile pictures have my graphics on them instead of pictures of me? I hate pictures of me, at least most of them. So instead of continuing to hide who I am, I am going to throw it in reverse. And here’s how…
So why pour these things out onto the blogosphere? I don’t know. Maybe the power of the internet, that can be used for good, will help in my trek towards self improvement.
Why might you care? Well, part of what I want to accomplish with this is to build some kind of accountability connection / connections. Something that will serve as a two way street for anyone involved. I want to be poked at when you notice my weight didn’t drop enough last week and I want to be there to poke anyone that wants to be kept up with.
So there it is. The ball has begun it’s roll and I am looking forward to the potential that it contains.
I just pray that my head is not the only thing responsible for this post, because that may foreshadow failure. I guess time will tell…..