What’s the deal with my button fly?

Ok, here’s the deal. I have been losing weight and today I hit a milestone, albeit a typical one, a milestone nevertheless. I needed a pair of jeans to wear and didn’t have any clean ones I wanted to wear. All of the available clean ones were swimmingly big. So I looked in the ole’ closet to see if any of my “I’ll wear those when I get skinnier” jeans would fit. Sure enough, that brand new pair of Levi’s fit perfectly. I am pretty pleased with my progress, but am not at my goal just yet. Forward progress is the only way to get there though.

So what’s with the title you ask? Button fly was and always will be a stupid idea! The jeans slid on well, but that was followed by a minute of contortion as I buttoned up my fly. Why is that better than a two second zip? I don’t buy the “it’s more fashionable” bit because it’s covered up and let me tell ya, a quick run to the bathroom for #1 is no longer quick for a guy. So maybe I am missing something, but unless I am proven otherwise, I stand by my theory that, like many “new” fashion developments, the button fly was one of many really stupid ideas that people bought into because it was different. This made jeans makers lots of money and we, the general public, are now a little bit dumber because of it.

-Kamen